As long time watchers and readers of Internet After Dark know, I am always hard at work finding the sexiest and most interesting things online. That’s why I’m always thrilled when I have to do no work at all, and something amazing is dropped in my lap. Such was the case yesterday when my brother posted this to his wife’s Facebook page:
The Taco Meatloaf.
Cool-Hog LOVES Tacoloaf!
The link in the Facebook text links to a suspicious website that my workplace blocks – so I’m going to go ahead and claim that I invented this recipe.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY INVENTION, INTERNET!
I tackled making one of these bad boys last night! So come along! Let me show you how so you can make one too!
First, get all of these ingredients:
MAIN TACOLOAF STUFF
1 pound of ground beef
½ cup of finely crushed corn chips
1 beaten egg
3 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
½ cup of thick and chunky salsa
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ cup of Mexican blend shredded cheese (or be a badass and grate your own cheese like me!)
TOPPING STUFF
1 cup of refried beans
¼ cup of your favorite salsa
1 cup of Mexican blend shredded cheese
“Now what do I do?!” you’re probably screaming, stomach rumbling and half dead from hunger.
First, grate your cheese so it’s in a big heaping mess like this, and set it aside.
I used sharp Cheddar and jalapeño Jack cheese!
Then, beat your egg in a human sized bowl
Pictured, for those who don’t know what a beaten egg looks like.
once beaten add in your spices!
when possible, grind some up fresh to add more work to your meal preparation.
Try spicing up your relationship by having your significant other do the hard work for you.
Then, in a bigger bowl, put all your loaf stuff together. Beef, egg spices, cheese, crunched up chips – the whole works.
DON’T LOOK!! IT’S NAKED!!
Then mix that junk up with your hands. Don’t use a spoon, that’s a weak tool for loser babies. Grab that meat and massage it like you knead it!
It kneads it SO BAD!
After that’s thoroughly smooshed, get a baking sheet and cover it in tinfoil and grease it with spray on oil or butter or whatever. Don’t use too much because this loaf is gonna be greasy as is – this is just so your loaf doesn’t tear away bits of tinfoil when you serve it.
No one likes eating tinfoil.
Once properly greased, loaf up your loaf into whatever loaf shape you want! I chose flat, long, and wide so it would cook properly. If you’re a fan of uncooked loaf though, feel free to leave some thick areas on your loaf shape.
Just how all the ladies like it.
Long, wide, and raw.
Now start preheating your oven. Crank it to 375 degrees. I’d show a picture of that, but my oven just says “Pre” for some reason.
Is my oven trying to tell me it’s pregnant?
While that’s going, get all your topping stuff and mix that in another bowl, so you’ve got a lot to clean up when you’re done eating.
Once completely mixed, glaze your loaf with that bean and cheese flavored icing!
It’s like a birthday cake!
If a birthday cake was made of raw meat and chili powder.
By now, your oven must be hot – so slide that loaf into your oven nice and easy. If it’s hard to fit in, take your time. Slow and steady thrusts will slide that loaf in. Be careful though, things are getting hot in there and you don’t want to get burned.
Leave that loaf in there for 45 minutes.
The bubbles mean it’s working!
While that cooks up, make up a garnish half-assedly by cutting up some cherry tomatoes and avocados you have lying around the house.
Make sure to remind your SO that they’re awesome while they’re cutting up greasy avocados. If you’re lucky they’ll do this while NUDE!
Add some lime if you’re feeling sassy!
SASSIFIED!
YOU’RE ALMOST THERE!
With about 4 minutes left on the clock, open the oven and huck what’s left of your cheese at the loaf.
Don’t put your hands in there! It’s hot, stupid! Just hope for the best and keep throwing.
AND IT’S DONE!
NAILED IT.
If you followed these directions, it should look just like the picture!
Now put it on a plate and Instagram that shit!
BEHOLD!
BEHOLD SOME MORE!!
If you’re gross like me, use the left over chips from the bag and scoop up the bean, grease, and cheese runoff to make make-shift nachos!
Serves 2-4 people.
Or 1 if you’re really hungry.
Boner appetite, and stay sexy!
