>SLITHERASTROPHE, A NAT CASSIDY ADVENTURE
Today, whilst commenting on a fleeting Facebook malfunction that was keeping me from posting anything with a link in it, Independent Theater’s own Nat Cassidy and I struck up a conversation. Taking his lead on loving a imageless future for the internet, I took the opportunity to start a text-based adventure game. For those of you who don’t know what a text based adventure game is, take a second and play Home Star Runner’s Thy Dungeonman.
Nat, internet superstar and regular day busyman, actually took the time to play the game all day with me. I really wanted to save this and share it with those who would like to read, so I’ve cleaned it up and posted it here in it’s entirety. All written in real time on a Facebook thread.
Again, I sprung this on Nat completely by surprise, and both of our interactions were our own – played in real time.
Nat, you are way awesome. Thank you so much for playing!
Friends, also know that I had such a fun time playing this that I plan to have other daily adventures with random friends by surprise. So be wary adventurers – YOU COULD BE NEXT!
Until then, I proudly present:
>SLITHERASTROPHE, A NAT CASSIDY ADVENTURE
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT CASSIDY AWAKES IN A SMALL APARTMENT. THERE ARE EXITS TO THE NORTH, SOUTH, AND EAST. THERE IS A GROSS PICTURE OF A PENGUIN WITH A KEY HANGING BELOW IT, NEXT TO A LENGTH OF ROPE. SPIDERMAN FIGURES ARE EVERYWHERE. NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS.
>WHAT NEXT, PLAYA?
7 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
…
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>HUMP PENGUIN
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>HUMP PENGUIN
>THERE ARE TOO MANY SPIDERMANS IN THE WAY TO DO THAT.
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS.
>YOUR MOVE, MAKE IT COUNT.
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
…
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>HUMP SPIDERMANS
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>HUMP SPIDERMANS
>HIS HUMPING IS JUST AND MIGHTY. NAT HAS ASSERTED DOMINANCE OVER THE SPIDERMANS AND THEY NOW FOLLOW HIS LEAD.
>A GRAIN OF SAND HAS FALLEN IN THE ADVENTRCHRONOMETER IN NAT’S POCKET.
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>WHAT NEXT? THESE RAMKEKINS AIN’T FINDING THEMSELVES.
>OH, IF YOU DON’T FIND THE RAMEKINS IN TIME, THEN THE SNAKES ARE RELEASED.
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
Hmmm
…
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
Um …
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
Aha!
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
(cracks knuckles … types)
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>FIND … RAMEKINS
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>FIND…RAMEKINS
>NAT HAS NO IDEA WHAT A RAMEKIN IS
>MAYBE HE SHOULD GOOGLE IT OR SOMETHING?
>STILL, HE WASTES 3 GRANS OF SAND IN THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER LOOKING AROUND FOR ONE
>NAT DOES DISCOVER HIS OLD SEGA GENESIS TAPE OF TOJAM AND EARL
>NAT ADDS TOJAM AND EARL SEGA GENESIS TAPE TO HIS INVENTORY
>WHAT NEXT?
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
…
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>HUMP INTERNET
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
(Note, this is exactly how I played text-based games back in the day.)
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>HUMP INTERNET
>NAT ASSERTS HIS DOMINANCE OVER THE INTERNET AS THE SPIDERMANS CHEER THEIR NEW MASTER ON
>THE INTERNET IS NOW PRIMED FOR NAT’S COMMAND
>THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER IS SO IMPRESSED IT FORGETS TO DROP ANY SAND.
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS.
>THE SNAKES GAIN +1 HUNGER
>WHAT NEXT?
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>HUMP SNAKES! HUMP SNAKES! HUMP SNAKES!
6 hours ago · Like · 1
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>HUMP SNAKES! HUMP SNAKES! HUMP SNAKES!
>THE SNAKES HAVE NOT BEEN RELEASED, AND THEY’RE NOT HERE. THEY’RE IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOUR WIFE. YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT WAS KIDNAPPED? DON’T YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING?
>THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER IS BORED AND DROPS 10 GRAINS OF SAND
>LEAD ON, ADVENTURER
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>WALK TO SOUTH DOOR
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
(computer pauses for lunch)
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
GODDAMMIT
6 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
(humps computer)
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
Initializing……
5 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>RUN PROGRAM
5 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>SLITHERASTROPHE, A NAT CASSIDY ADVENTURE
5 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>CONTINUE?
>Y? N?
5 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>Y
5 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>KANT TORI READ
5 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>SWEET MOTORCYCLE UNLOCKED
5 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>iddqd
5 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT APPROACHES THE SOUTH EXIT, WHICH IS LESS A DOOR AND MORE A OPEN WINDOW LEADING TO A SHARP DROP. IN FACT, BELOW THE WINDOW IS A PIT OF SPIKES, AND NOT MUCH ELSE. IT’S JUST BORING FOREST AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE.
>NO GRAINS OF SAND DROP FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>WHAT UP, G?
5 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>MAILMAN MODE UNLOCKED
5 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>THROW MAIL OUT OF WINDOW
4 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>THROW MAIL OUT OF WINDOW
>NAT’S NEWFOUND BOUNTIFUL SACKS EMPTY THEIR BOUNTY, RAINING LETTERS FROM ACROSS THE GLOBE UPON THE SPIKES BELOW. NOW THERE IS NO MORE LEGAL PROOF OF SANTA CLAUSE, BUT NAT’S SACKS ARE NOW EMPTY, AND HE HAS GAINED A NEARLY UNLIMITED CARRYING CAPACITY. GO AHEAD AND PICK SOMETHING UP. REALLY, YOU’VE GOT SACKS FOR DAYS NOW.
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>NEXT ORDER PLEASE
4 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>PICK UP Douglas MacKrell
4 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>PICK UP Douglas MacKrell
>DOUGLAS IS FLATTERED, BUT HE’S ALREADY SEEING Lucy Goldstein. IN FACT, THEY BOTH JUST MOVED INTO A SWEET APARTMENT, AND THEY SHOULD HAVE YOU OVER SOMETIME FOR DINNER.
>NO GRAINS OF SAND DROP FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
4 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>SEND Douglas MacKrell FLOWERS AT WORK SO HIS GIRLFRIEND DOESN’T SEE THEM
4 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>SEND Douglas MacKrell FLOWERS AT WORK SO HIS GIRLFRIEND DOESN’T SEE THEM
>WITH THE STEALTH OF JOHN QUINCY ADAMS, AMERICA’S STEALTHIEST PRESIDENT, NAT SENDS OFF A ROMANTIC EDIBLE BOUQUET OF FLOWER SHAPED FRUIT. IN A CRITICAL ERROR, NAT ACCIDENTALLY TYPES “BREAST FRIENDS FOREVER” ON THE CARD, AND SENDS IT BEFORE HE REALIZES THE MISTAKE. DOUGLAS APPRECIATES THE GESTURE, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE HE LIKES EATING THINGS SHAPED LIKE OTHER THINGS.
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>YOU RANG, SIR?
4 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>ASK COMPUTER WHAT IT WANTS TO DO FOR ONCE
4 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>ASK COMPUTER WHAT IT WANTS TO DO FOR ONCE
>THE COMPUTER LOOKS UP AT NAT THROUGH TEARY EYES. NO ONE HAD EVER GIVEN IT THAT KIND OF FREEDOM BEFORE. IT’S SHORT EXISTENCE WAS BLESSED WITH A MASSIVE INTELLECT AND NO REAL UNDERSTANDING OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD – AND NOW NAT HAD FREED IT TO SEARCH AND FIND ITSELF IN THE WORLD. TO DEFINE WHO IT REALLY WAS. TO FIND IT’S PLACE IN SOCIETY, AS WELL AS IT’S HEART. THE COMPUTER THANKS NAT FOR GRANTING IT’S FREEDOM, AND DECIDES TO GRANT HIM ONE WISH BEFORE DEPARTING FOREVER.
>STATE YOUR WISH
4 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>HUMP PENGUINS
4 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>THE COMPUTER NODS SOLEMNLY, AS ONLY COMPUTERS CAN, AND THE MOST COMELY OF PENGUINS APPEARS. SHE IS GERTRUDE, PRINCESS OF THE PENGUIN-KIND AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF THEIR RACE. NAT GETS TA HUMPIN’ AND DOES SO WITH GREAT GUSTO. THE PRINCESS SATISFIED, SHE GRANTS YOU ONE OF THE TWIN KEYS TO THE PENGUIN KINGDOM.
>NAT PUTS THE FIRST OF THE TWIN PENGUIN KINGDOM KEYS INTO HIS SACK
>WITH A BLUSH, SHE DEPARTS – BLOWING YOU A KISS. THE COMPUTER, IT’S WISH GRANTED, BIDS NAT FAREWELL. “GO FORTH AND STOP THE SNAKES, HUMPMASTER.”
>THE COMPUTER DISAPPEARS IN A PUFF OF LOGIC AND MAGIC.
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>OMG, WHAT NEXT?
4 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>USE MOTORCYCLE TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND RUN OVER SNAKES PARENTS
4 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>USE MOTORCYCLE TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND RUN OVER SNAKES PARENTS
>HIGH FROM HIS NEW MONIKER OF, HUMPMASTER, NAT STRADDLES THE SWEET MOTORCYCLE AND DIALS IN MARCH 14TH, 2004. THE ENGINE REVS AND AWESOME GLOWING LIGHTS AND CGI BEGIN TO SWIRL AROUND. THEN, SUDDENLY, THE ENGINE SPUTTERS AND CUTS. NAT LOOKS DOWN TO SEE THAT THE RAMEKIN GAUGE IS EMPTY.
>NAT CURRENTLY DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH RAMEKINS TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>WHA-WHAT?
3 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>MAKE 200 CERAMIC BOWLS USING PORTABLE KILN
3 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>MAKE 200 CERAMIC BOWLS USING PORTABLE KILN
>NAT WILL NEED TO GET INTO THE BACK YARD TO USE HIS PORTABLE KILN. THAT THING GETS WAY TOO HOT TO USE INSIDE. NAT MAY HAVE AN INCREDIBLE ZEAL FOR ARTS AND CRAFTS AT THE MOMENT, BUT HE’S STILL WISE ENOUGH TO NOT START A FIRE.
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>WHAT NOW?
3 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>CALL 1-800-RAM-EKIN AND ORDER RAMEKINS
3 hours ago via mobile · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>CALL 1-800-RAM-EKIN AND ORDER RAMEKINS
>NAT GRABS HIS NEARBY HAMBURGER PHONE AND DIALS. ON THE LINE, HE DEALS WITH A NICE SOUNDING WOMAN NAMED CICI, AND STRIKES UP SOME SMALL TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LIKES HER PIZZA. SHE DOESN’T GET THE REFERENCE, AND THERE’S AN AWKWARD SILENCE. NAT COMPLETES THE ORDER, AND IS ABLE TO SECURE 12 RAMEKINS TO BE DELIVERED IN 4-6 WEEKS.
>NAT HAS ZERO DOLLARS
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>WHERE TO NOW?
3 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>HYPERSLEEP FOR 3.99 WEEKS
2 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>HYPERSLEEP FOR 3.99 WEEKS
>ATTEMPT FAILURE
>THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER HAS ONLY ENOUGH SAND FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS. HYPERSLEEP MAY SAVE NAT FROM THE RIGORS OF AGE, BUT NOT THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER. IT IS SYNCED TO STANDARDIZED EARTH TIME.
>NO GRAINS OF SAND DROP FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT, SIRS?
2 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
Hmmmm …
2 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
…
2 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
…
2 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>MAKE LOVE TO A LADY OF THE IRON ISLANDS
2 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>MAKE LOVE TO A LADY OF THE IRON ISLANDS
>NAT LAYS DOWN THE FUNK OF OHIO GOLD’S, LOVE ROLLERCOASTER – THE ONLY SONG THAT CAN SUMMON FORTH SUCH A WOMAN. LIKE A GIANT FUNK MAGNET, CHARMANE – WARRIOR WOMAN OF THE IRON ISLANDS APPEARS. SHE LETS DOWN HER BRONZEN HAIR AND NAT RENDS HIS SHIRT TO THE GROUND. THERE, UPON THE SPIDERMAN FIGURINES, CHARMANE KNEW THE TOUCH OF LOVE. PASSIONATE, HOT, THROBBING LOVE THAT ONLY A HUMPMASTER CAN DELIVER. SATISFIED, SHE RISES AND MEETS NAT’S GAZE. “THIS WAS ONCE OUR PEOPLE’S GREATEST TREASURE. NOW, IT IS YOURS, MY LOVE.”
>NAT RECEIVES ONE RAMEKIN!
>NAT HOPES HIS WIFE DOESN’T FIND OUT ABOUT THIS
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ONE RAMEKIN
>NOW WHAT?
2 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>ADD RAMEKIN TO THE 3,000 OTHER RAMEKINS IN A PILE BY THE EAST DOOR THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT
2 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>ADD RAMEKIN TO THE 3,000 OTHER RAMEKINS IN A PILE BY THE EAST DOOR THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT.
>TO CHARMANE’S DISMAY, YOU CARELESSLY TOSS THE RAMEKIN TO THE PILE OF RAMEKINS BLOCKING THE EAST DOOR. REALLY, YOU SHOULD SWEEP THOSE UP SOMEDAY – YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THAT DOOR TO BUDGE DUE TO THE COLOSSAL WEIGHT OF YOUR RAMEKIN “COLLECTION.”
>CHARMANE’S FEELINGS ARE HURT AND SHE LEAVES IN A HUFF
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS ZERO RAMEKINS
>WHATS THE SCOOP?
2 hours ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>MAKE MENTAL NOTE TO SEND CHAR A “BREAST FRIENDS” EDIBLE BOUQUET. FASHION RAMEKIN PILE INTO RAMEKIN VOLTRON AND PROGRAM WITH THE OBJECTIVE TO KILL ALL SNAKES.
2 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>MAKE A MENTAL NOTE TO SEND CHAR A “BREAST FRIENDS” EDIBLE BOUQUET. FASHION RAMEKIN PILE INTO RAMEKIN VOLTRON AND PROGRAM WITH THE OBJECTIVE TO KILL ALL SNAKES.
>CALLING UPON YOUR TRANSZMORPHATRON COMMUNICATOR, YOU ACTIVATE THE RAMEKINS. FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY, “BLATHERING BLATHERSKITE” – THE RAMEKINS WHIRL AROUND YOU TO CREATE R4M3K1N, THE WHITE WONDER! WATCH OUT EVERYONE! THE PORCELAIN PROTECTOR HAS ARRIVED!
>NAT HAS SUCCESSFULLY ACTIVATED R4M31N
>NAT PROGRAMS R4M3K1N
>R4M3K1N IS USELESS AND VERY FRAGILE
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS THREE THOUSAND AND ONE RAMEKINS
>WHATS THE STORY MORNING GLORY?
about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>HUMP R4M3K1N
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>HUMP R4M3K1N
>TRUE TO HIS TITLE, NAT TRIES TO HUMP THE MIGHTY R4M3K1N. HE HAS TO STOP RATHER QUICKLY THOUGH, AS THE ACTION SHATTERS ABOUT A THIRD OF HIS RAMEKINS.
>R4M3K1N HAS DISSEMBLED
>THERE’S A POINTY MESS OVER MOST OF THE FLOOR
>ONE GRAIN OF SAND DROPS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>NAT CURRENTLY HAS A HARD TO DETERMINE AMOUNT OF RAMEKINS
>NEXT ENTRY PLEASE
about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>INVITE SNAKES INTO THE ROOM SO THEY SLITHER OVER SHARDS
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>INVITE SNAKES INTO ROOM SO THEY SLITHER OVER SHARDS
>AS IF BY CLOCKWORK, THE LAST GRAIN OF SAND FALLS FROM THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER. A HORRIBLE BELL RINGS FROM SOMEWHERE. NAT TRIES TO DO HIS WORLD FAMOUS SNAKE CALL TO LURE THE SNAKES INTO A POINTY TRAP, BUT WITH THE DOORS CURRENTLY CLOSED, THERE’S NO WAY FOR THE SNAKES TO ENTER – NO MATTER HOW LURED THEY ARE.
>THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER HAS SHATTERED.
>THE RAMEKINS NO LONGER MATTER – THE SNAKES HAVE BEEN RELEASED
>HOW DO YOU SAVE YOUR WIFE?!
about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>GIVE WIFE HER INSULIN SHOT
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>GIVE WIFE HER INSULIN SHOT
>IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!
>NAT’S WIFE, WHO HAS BEEN TIED UP IN THE SAME ROOM THIS WHOLE TIME, IS INJECTED WITH DINOSAUR INSULIN AND TRANSFORMS INTO A MIGHTY STEGOSAURUS – BREAKING HER BINDS.
>”ROAR” SAYS NAT’S WIFE
>SLOTS OPEN AROUND THE ROOM.
>SNAKES SLITHER IN
>WHAT NOW?!
about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>ASK LARGEST SNAKE TO DANCE
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>ASK LARGEST SNAKE TO DANCE
>NAT WAS NO FOOL. IF THERE WAS EVER A CHANCE TO RE-ENACT A SCENE FROM HIS FAVORITE MOVIE, THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE, IT WAS NOW.
>
>IT WORKS! THE LARGEST OF THE SNAKES AGREES TO YOUR DANCE BATTLE. IF HE LOSES, THEN HE AND HIS SNAKES WILL LEAVE FOREVER. IF YOU LOSE – THEN THEY BITE YOU. TO DEATH. OF BITES.
>BRING IT ON!
about an hour ago · Like ·
Douglas MacKrell
>ROUND ONE
>ENTER YOUR BEST DANCE MOVE
about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>YOUR BEST DANCE MOVE
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>YOUR BEST DANCE MOVE
>MY BEST DANCE MOVE IS THE CAPTAIN SPALDING. IT’S RELATIVELY EASY, THAT’S WHY GROUCHO DID IT.
>THE SNAKES ARE UNIMPRESSED BY YOUR LAMEZORS MOVES.
>BOSS SNAKE ATTEMPTS
>THE TWIST
>THE SNAKES FUCKING LOVE IT!
>ROUND ONE VICTOR:
>BOSS SNAKE
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>ROUND TWO
>YOUR MOVES?
about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>LOCKSTEP HEEL PULL HEEL PULL HEEL PULL GANCHO CROSS BALL-CHANGE FEATHER STEP KICK ROND OPEN TURN ROND OPEN TURN MOONWALK INSIDE TURN JETEE KNEEL
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>LOCKSTEP HEEL PULL HEEL PULL HEEL PULL GANCHO CROSS BALL-CHANGE FEATHER STEP KICK ROND OPEN TURN ROND OPEN TURN MOONWALK INSIDE TURN JETEE KNEEL
>THE SNAKES ARE CRAZY IMPRESSED.
>BOSS SNAKE ATTEMPTS
>HOKEY POKEY
>IT’S A TERRIBLE FAILURE – SNAKES HAVE NO ARMS OR LEGS!
>THE SNAKES HATE IT
>ROUND TWO VICTOR
>NAT CASSIDY
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>ROUND THREE
>YOU BEEN SERVED
about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
>THE SEXIEST SISSONNE SOUTENU EN TOURNANT SISSOUNNE GRAND ROND DE JAMBE TOURS EN L’AIR TOMBE THAT HAS EVER BEEN ATTEMPTED, FOLLOWED BY INTENSE, PASSIONATE EYE CONTACT AND A LICK OF THE LIPS
about an hour ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>NAT ATTEMPTS
>THE SEXIEST SISSONNE SOUTENU EN TOURNANT SISSOUNNE GRAND ROND DE JAMBE TOURS EN L’AIR TOMBE THAT HAS EVER BEEN ATTEMPTED, FOLLOWED BY INTENSE, PASSIONATE EYE CONTACT AND A LICK OF THE LIPS
>MOST OF THE FEMALE SNAKES HAVE RETREATED TO A NEARBY FAINTING COUCH DUE TO SWOONING. THE MALE SNAKES NOW CONSIDER YOU THEIR “BRO”.
>BOSS SNAKE IS INTIMIDATED
>BOSS SNAKE ATTEMPTS
>THE DRUNKEN LEPRECHAUN
>THAT IS NOT A DANCE
>BOSS SNAKE IS SHAMED!
>ROUND THREE VICTOR:
>NAT CASSIDY
>NAT HAS DEFEATED BOSS SNAKE!
>
>
>BOSS SNAKE BEGRUDGINGLY CALLS FOR HIS SNAKES TO LEAVE, BUT THEY’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. NAT IS THEIR NEW MASTER NOW.
>BOSS SNAKE SLINKS AWAY.
>NAT TURNED TO HIS NEW STEGOWIFE AND SNAKEFOLLOWERS AND GAVE THEM A KNOWING LOOK. THE LOOK THAT ONLY A TRUE HUMPMASTER WOULD KNOW HOW TO GIVE.
>THERE WAS MUCH HUMPING.
>
>THE END
>
>CONGRADSULATIONS! A WINNER IS YOU!
>YOU ACHIEVED 47% COMPLETION
>
>THIS HAS BEEN
>SLITHERASTROPHE, A NAT CASSIDY ADVENTURE
>WRITTEN BY NAT CASSIDY AND DOUGLAS MACKRELL
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Nat Cassidy
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Nat Cassidy
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Nat Cassidy
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Nat Cassidy
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Nat Cassidy
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about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
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about an hour ago · Like
Nat Cassidy
(hump computer)
about an hour ago · Unlike · 1
