My adventure today took place with Nosedive Productions own, Pete Boisvert!
He graciously played along today, and I’m extremely grateful to have had the chance.
Again, these text adventures are completely a surprise, and and his words are entirely his own. They were played out live over the course of a day on an open thread on his Facebook page.
These are going INCREDIBLY well, and I plan to continue them daily! So keep an eye on your Facebook page each morning, because AN ADVENTURER COULD BE YOU!!!
Please enjoy this cleaned up blog version of:
>SNOWBALL LUCIDITY, A PETE BOISVERT ADVENTURE
Douglas MacKrell posted:
>PETE BOISVERT AWAKES WITH A SHARP PAIN IN HIS LEFT ARM. HE IS CURRENTLY BLEEDING FROM A GASH ABOVE HIS ELBOW. IT SEEMS SERIOUS, BUT HE HAS NO REAL MEDICAL OR FIRST AID EXPERIENCE TO VERIFY THAT. HIS SURROUNDINGS ARE SHROUDED IN DARKNESS SAVE FOR A POOL OF LIGHT FROM ABOVE, SHINING ON THE POOL PETE IS LAYING IN. ROUGHLY ABOUT AN INCH OF FOUL WATER. EXITS COULD BE TO THE NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, OR WEST – BUT IT’S HARD TO TELL IN THE DARKNESS.
>THERE IS A SKITTERING SOUND FROM SOMEWHERE
>PETE HAS 99% SANITY REMAINING
>WHAT NEXT?
Pete Boisvert
SMELL FOUL WATER
13 hours ago · Like · 1
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>SMELL FOUL WATER
>THE BOUQUET IS A RANCID MIX OF STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE VOMIT AND EVERY AXE BODY SPRAY AT ONCE. THE SMELL STRIKES PETE’S NOSTRILS WITH THE POWER OF OPTIMUS PRIME IN TRUCK FORM. MOMENTARILY HE FORGETS ABOUT HIS TERRIBLE ARM WOUND. THEN THE BLOOD MAKES HIM REMEMBER. THE TRICKLE OF RED FLOWS TO THE SOUTH, WHICH INDICATES THAT THERE IS A FLOW TO WHATEVER “WATER” HE’S STILL LAYING IN. I WONDER IF THAT SHOULD BE SEEPING INTO THAT OPEN WOUND?
>THERE IS THE SOUND OF METAL SCRAPING AGAINST METAL IN THE DISTANCE
>PETE HAS 99% SANITY REMAINING
>NOW WHAT?
12 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
FOLLOW SCRAPING NOISE
12 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>FOLLOW SCRAPING NOISE
>GETTING TO HIS FEET, PETE SQUINTS INTO THE DARKNESS. HE FEELS LIKE THE SOUND WAS COMING FROM THE EAST, BUT THEN GETS LOST THINKING ABOUT HOW YOU CAN’T FEEL SOUND, YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT. HIS INNER ARGUMENT TAKES A FEW MINUTES, BUT HE REGAINS HIS COMPOSURE AND STARTS OFF INTO THE DARKNESS TOWARD THE SOUND.
>PETE CAN SEE THE POOL OF LIGHT BEHIND HIM TO THE WEST
>PETE CAN NOT SEE MUCH ELSE
>PETE IS FAIRLY SURE HE JUST FELT SOMETHING BRUSH AGAINST HIS LEG.
>PETE IS 100% SURE THAT HE CAN FEEL TOUCH.
>PETE HAS 95% SANITY REMAINING
>IT SURE WOULD BE NICE TO SEE SOMETHING, AMIRIGHT?
12 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
INVENTORY
12 hours ago · Like · 2
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ACCESSES HIS INVENTORY
>PETE CURRENTLY HAS
>3 STICKS OF GUM
>1 BALL OF TWINE
>1 MAGNUM REVOLVER
>4 PUZZLE PIECES TO A TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE PUZZLE
>1 FLASHLIGHT
>1 PLAYSTATION SPYRO DISK, LOOSE
>1 ADVENTROCHRONOMETER, STOPPED
>PETE IS DRESSED IN A COMFORTABLE T-SHIRT AND JEANS, BOTH BLOODIED AND FOULED.
12 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
TURN ON FLASHLIGHT
12 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>TURN ON FLASHLIGHT
>LIGHT FLOODS THE DANK SPACE. IT ALSO LETS PETE NOTICE THAT THE FLASHLIGHT WAS A BANANA ALL ALONG. IT STILL THROWS A LOT OF LIGHT THOUGH.
>PETE HAS 79% SANITY REMAINING
>INPUT COMMAND
12 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
USE GUM WITH TWINE
12 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>USE GUM WITH TWINE
>PETE GETS TO CHEWING, AND DISCOVERS THAT HIS GUM WAS ACTUALLY BONKERS! THOSE HAVEN’T BEEN ON SALE FOR YEARS! PETE SAVORS THE TWIN FRUIT FLAVORS, BUT RESISTS SWALLOWING THE DELECTABLE TREAT. THE PAIN IN HIS ARM KEEPS HIS FINE MOTOR SKILLS DOWN, BUT HE IS ABLE TO SMEAR THE STICKY MESS OVER MOST OF THE TWINEBALL
>PETE GAINS 1 STICKY TWINEBALL
>PETE FEELS PRETTY SANE
>PETE HAS 77% SANITY REMAINING
>WHERE TO, NEXT?
11 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
USE STICKY TWINEBALL ON BLEEDING GASH
11 hours ago · Like · 3
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>USE STICKY TWINEBALL ON BLEEDING GASH
>I REALLY WASN’T KIDDING WHEN I SAID THAT PETE HAD LITTLE TO NO MEDICAL OR FIRST AID TRAINING. TAKING THE STICKY AND POINTY MESS, HE MASHES IT AGAINST HIS OPEN WOUND. THE PAIN IS NEARLY ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM PASS OUT, BUT AT LEAST THE BLEEDING HAS STOPPED. AS WELL AS THE TRAIL IT WAS LEAVING BEHIND.
>PETE HAS 80% SANITY REMAINING
>PETE IS 15% WOOZY
>THE SCRAPING SOUND IS GROWING CLOSER
>WORD UP?
11 hours ago · Like · 2
Pete Boisvert
EAT.BANANA
11 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
PUT TMNT PUZZLE PIECES TOGETHER
11 hours ago · Like · 2
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>EAT BANANA
>ONCE AGAIN, THE ROOM IS SHROUDED IN DARKNESS, AS PETE WOLFS DOWN HIS BANANA. ODDLY THOUGH, WHEN HE DOES, THE LIGHTS IN THE ROOM SUDDENLY SNAP ON. SINCE HE HASN’T TAKEN THE TIME TO, HE DECIDES TO LOOK AROUND THE ROOM. HE IS IN THE BASEMENT MORGUE OF A HOSPITAL. SEVERAL OF THE REFRIGERATION DOORS ARE OPEN, BROKEN FROM THE INSIDE. TO THE SOUTH IS AN EXAMINATION TABLE WITH AN OPEN CADAVER. THERE ARE STILL TOOLS NEAR AND IN THE CORPSE. TO THE NORTH IS AN EXIT AS WELL AS AN ADORABLE “HANG IN THERE” KITTEN POSTER. THE HALL EXTENDS TO THE EAST.
>PETE THINKS HE SEES THE CORPSE MOVE SLIGHTLY, THOUGH IT MAY HAVE JUST BEEN THE WIND, IN THE BASEMENT WITH NO WINDOWS.
>PETE HAS 67% SANITY REMAINING.
>WARNING IF PETE FALLS BELOW 50% SANITY, CONTROLS MAY NOT OPERATE NORMALLY
>
>
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>PUT TMNT PUZZLE PIECES TOGETHER
>THE PIECES ARE NOT ADJOINING, JUST RANDOM FROM THE BOX. STILL, PETE TRIES TO ASSEMBLE PART OF LEATHERNECK’S BACK TO THE RAT KING’S FOOT TO BAXTER STOCKMAN’S EYE TO RAPHAEL’S ELBOW.
>IT KIND OF MAKES SENSE TO PETE
>IT SHOULDN’T MAKE SENSE
>PETE HAS 36% SANITY REMAINING
>CHICKEN OR FISH?
10 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
FISH. PUT TMNT PUZZLE INSIDE CORPSE
10 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE TRIES REAL HARD TO
>FISH, PUT TMNT PUZZLE INSIDE CORPSE
>PETE APPROACHES THE CORPSE AND TOSSES IN HIS “ASSEMBLED” PUZZLE.
>”THANKS, MAN. I LOVED THIS SHOW.” SAID THE CORPSE.
>”ME TOO!” SAYS PETE
>”KNOW WHAT I HAVEN’T SEEN IN YEARS?”
>”WHAT?”
>”THOSE CREAM PIES THAT HOSTESS MADE.”
>PETE REELED BACK IN NOSTALGIA. “AAAH, I KNOW!”
>”TELL YOU WHAT,” SAID THE CORPSE, LEANING IN CLOSE, “I’VE GOT A KEY TO GET OUTTA THIS PLACE. IF YOU FIND ME ONE OF THOSE PIES, I’LL GIVE IT TO YOU!
>PETE THINKS THIS IS A SWELL DEAL
>PETE HAS 29% SANITY REMAINING
>SPARKLES?
10 hours ago · Like · 3
Pete Boisvert
SPACKLE. USE REVOLVER ON KITTEN POSTER. DIAGNOSTIC.
9 hours ago · Like · 1
Jennifer Gordon Thomas · 43 mutual friends
(I love it when he spackles)
8 hours ago via mobile · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATRIES
>SPACKLE. USE REVOLVER ON KITTEN POSTER. DIAGNOSTIC.
>PETE TURNS TO THE KITTEN POSTER. IT’S SPACKLE ABOUT THE EDGES CLEARLY BELIES SECRETS.
>”WHAT DO YOU HIDE, KITTEN?!” PETE BOMBARDS.
>PETE LEVELS HIS MAGNUM REVOLVER AT THE KITTEN POSTER
>”‘SETTLE DOWN MAN!” THE KITTEN POSTER EXCLAIMS! “D-DON’T DO ANYTHING YOU’LL REGRET!”
>”TELL MY ALLERGIES I SAID, ‘GO TO HELL’.”
>PETE FIRES THE MAGNUM REVOLVER AT THE KITTEN POSTER.
>THE RECOIL SENDS HIM FLYING BACKWARD INTO THE SOUTH WALL SENDING MEDICAL EQUIPMENT AND GROSS STUFF EVERYWHERE.
>THE KITTEN POSTER IS DESTROYED
>PETER HAS REVEALED
>HOLE BEHIND THE KITTEN POSTER
>PETE HAS 24% SANITY REMAINING
>MY LITTLE BUTTER CUP HAS THE SWEETEST…?
8 hours ago · Like ·
Pete Boisvert
SIMILE. LOOK AT HOLE.
8 hours ago · Like · 2
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE TEMP JOBS
>SIMILE. LOOK AT HOLE.
>”THAT HOLE IN THE WALL IS LIKE A GALLON OF ECTO COOLER ON A HOT DAY.” FEELING HIS SIMILE NEEDED NO FURTHER EXPLANATION, HE CONTINUED. “I’M GONNA CHECK YOU OUT NOW.”
>PETE LOOKS IN HOLE
>PETE DISCOVERS
>A SWEET STASH OF NINJA TURTLE PIES!
>http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0946/4.jpg
>THEIR VANILLA PUDDING POWER RADIATES THE ROOM. BOTH WITH DELICIOUSNESS AND A MODERATE LEVEL OF RADIOACTIVITY.
>PETE HAS 22% SANITY REMAINING
>BATTER UP
8 hours ago · Like ·
Pete Boisvert
TAUNT CORPSE WITH NINJA TURTLE PIES
8 hours ago · Like · 1
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE DOES
>TAUNT CORPSE WITH NINJA TURTLE PIES
>”MMMMMM-MMMMMMMMMMM! THESE PIES SURE ARE DELICIOUS!” PETE RUDELY INTERJECTED.
>”WHAT? YOU FOUND SOME PIES? DUDE! YOU GOTTA LET ME HAVE ONE!”
>”YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THESE ARE ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO STILL HAVE STOMACHS. THESE ARE MINE NOW.”
>”DUDE. SERIOUSLY. GIMMIE THE PIES.”
>”WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THEM? DECOMPOSE THEM?” PETE SMUGLY SNORTED.
>”GIMMIE THE PIES. NOW.”
>”MAYBE. JUST LET ME SEE HOW MANY I CAN CRAM INTO MY MOUTH AT ONCE FIRST. HEY LOOK! THEY’RE STILL GREEN ON THE OUTSID-”
>PETE IS CUT OFF BY THE CORPSE RUNNING AT HIM, SHOUTING IN A BLIND RAGE.
>THINK FAST!
8 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
USE SHINY SIDE OF SPYRO DISK TO DISTRACT CORPSE
8 hours ago · Like · 1
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE HAS ACHIEVED 0% SANITY
>
>PETE GOES ABOUT
>USE SHINY SIDE OF SPYRO DISK TO DISTRACT CORPSE
>
>
>PETE HAS EQUIPPED
>PLAYSTATION SPYRO DISK, LOOSE, AS HIS CURRENT WEAPON.
>MAGNUM REVOLVER IS NOW UNEQUIPPED
>
>PETE USES THE SHINY SIDE OF THE SPYRO DISK TO DISTRACT THE CORPSE
>
>ATTACK SUCCESSFUL
>
>CORPSE HAS MISSED IT’S ROUND AND CAN’T ATTACK
>
>BATTLE MENU
> 1)MELE
> 2)DEFEND
> 3)MAGIC MISSILE
> 4)SPECIAL MOVE
> 5)LIMIT BREAK
> 6)INVENTORY
8 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
LIMIT BREAK
7 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
DONKEY FOOTBALL PIZZA COUCH
7 hours ago · Like · 3
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPOS
>LIMIT BREAK
>IT WILL TAKE THREE ROUNDS TO CHARGE LIMIT BREAK
>
>CORPSE ATTACKS PETE
>CORPSE USES
>MUSHY ARMS
>IT’S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE
>
>ATTACK SUCCESS
>
>PETE TAKES
>-1 HP MELE DAMAGE
>
>CORPSE ATTACKS PETE
>CORPSE USES
>SQUISHY LEG
>IT’S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE
>
>MISS
>
>CORPSE ATTACKS PETE
>CORPSE USES
>HEAD-BUTT
>IT’S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE
>
>ATTACK SUCCESS
>
>PETE TAKES
>0 HP DAMAGE
>
>PETE’S LIMIT BREAK HAS CHARGED!
>
>PETE SHOUTS HIS BATTLE CRY!
>”DONKEY FOOTBALL PIZZA COUCH”
>
>THE POWER OF A MILLION SUNS IS FOCUSED THROUGH A BARRAGE OF STRIKES AND HITS EMANATING FROM PETE.
>IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE
>
>ATTACK SUCCESS
>
>CORPSE TAKES
>-12,005,645,912 HP SUPER DAMAGE
>DAMAGE MULTIPLIER IN EFFECT
>CORPSE TAKES ADDITIONAL
>X10 DAMAGE
>
>
>THE CORPSE IS DEFEATED!!
>
>PETE GAINS
>+3 EXP
>2 GP
>1 CORPSE EYEBALL
>1 KEY TO THE HOSPITAL
>
>WAY TO BEAT UP SOMEONE WITH NO ORGANS.
>WHAT NOW, BOSS?
7 hours ago · Like · 5
Pete Boisvert
LOOK EAST
7 hours ago · Like · 3
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>LOOK EAST
>STILL HIGH FROM HIS VICTORY OVER A MUSHY DEAD GUY WHO COULD BARELY HURT HIM, PETE TURNS HIS GAZE EASTWARD. THIS PARTICULAR MORGUE IS LONG, AND MAKES PETE REFLECT ON THE MORTALITY RATE THE COMMUNITY MUST MAINTAIN TO REQUIRE SUCH A LARGE SPACE FOR THE DEAD. IT’S A SOBERING THOUGHT.
>STILL EASTWARD PETE SEES MORE REFRIGERATORS, SOME BUSTED OPEN FROM THE INSIDE – ALONG THE SOUTH WALL. THE END OF THE EAST CORRIDOR ENDS IN AN EXIT. THE WALL ON THE NORTH SIDE IS INCREASINGLY COVERED IN SPIDERWEBS. SOME OF THE THICKEST PETE’S EVER SEEN.
>PETE HAS 15% SANITY REMAINING.
>SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
7 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
FEEL TOUCH
7 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE GIVES A TRY AT
>FEEL TOUCH
>IT HAS BEEN A WHILE, AND OUTSIDE OF PUNCHING THE RELIFE OUT OF THAT DEAD GUY, PETE HASN’T REALLY STOPPED TO FEEL ANYTHING IN A WHILE. THE SOBERING REQUEST RETURNS THE PAIN TO HIS LEFT ARM.
>OOG, THAT LOOKS INFECTED.
>PETE IS 40% WOOZY
>PETE HAS 33% SANITY REMAINING
>OMG WHAT NEXT?
7 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
EXAMINE REFRIGERATORS
7 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
TAKE TOOLS. TAKE SPIDERWEBS.
7 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>EXAMINE REFRIGERATORS
>PETE APPROACHES ONE OF THE BROKEN REFRIGERATORS. YUP, HIS HUNCH WAS CORRECT. THESE WERE BUSTED OUT OF – NOT INTO.
>PETE GAINS
>+1 DETECTIVE POINT
>ONE SEEMS TO ME MAKING A RACKET AT THE FAR END THOUGH. AND THAT ONE’S STILL CLOSED.
>PETE IS 45% WOOZY
>PETE HAS 51% SANITY REMAINING
>CONTROL NORMALCY ENGAGED
>INPUT COMMAND
7 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
EXAMINE REFRIGERATOR AT FAR END
7 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>TAKE TOOLS. TAKE SPIDERWEBS.
>PETE SCOOPS UP A HANDFULL OF POINTY DOCTOR STUFF HE COULDN’T NAME IF HE TRIED. HE ADDS IT TO HIS INVENTORY AS JUST ONE BIG MESS.
>PETE GAINS
>1 BUNCH OF SHARP STUFF
>PETE THEN REACHES FOR THE SPIDERWEBS. THEY’RE STICKY. REALLY STICKY. AND FRESH. PETE TRIES TO PULL HIS HAND FREE, BUT IT’S STUCK FAST.
>PETE’S PULLING SENDS VIBRATIONS DOWN THE WEB.
>SOMETHING STIRS AT THE THICK END OF THE WEB
>THE CLATTERING FROM INSIDE THE REFRIGERATOR GROWS LOUDER.
>PETE IS 50% WOOZY
>PETE HAS 57% SANITY REMAINING
>INPUT COMMAND
7 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
CUT SPIDERWEBS WITH SHARP STUFF
7 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>CUT SPIDERWEBS WITH SHARP STUFF
>PETE TAKES THE SHARP END OF THAT ONE SHARP THING WITH THE POINTY PARTS AND STARTS HACKING AT THE WEB. EVER SEE THAT DISCOVERY CHANNEL SHOW THAT SHOWCASED HOW SPIDER SILK IS BEING USED AS BULLET PROOF ARMOR? NO? WELL, JUST KNOW THAT THIS STUFF IS HARD. ESPECIALLY THIS BIG KIND. WHAT THE HELL MADE THIS?
>PETE’S HACKING IS MAKING LITTLE PROGRESS. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT’S HIS BAD ARM. WHY DID HE GRAB THE WEB WITH HIS GOOD HAND?!
>THE REFRIDGERATOR DOOR BUSTS OPEN.
>A CORPSE PULLS OUT OF IT AND SCREAMS, “DON’T LET IT GET M-”
>THE CORPSE IS CUT OFF BY A WEB STRIKING IT’S TORSO AND PULLING IT VIOLENTLY INTO THE FAR END OF THE WEB.
>PETE HEARS SOME SCREAMS AND SLURPING NOISES.
>PETE IS 57% WOOZY
>PETE HAS 60% SANITY REMAINING
>INPUT COMMAND
7 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
SHINE FLASHLIGHT AT FAR END OF WEB
7 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ATTEMPTS
>SHINE FLASHLIGHT AT FAR END OF WEB
>ATTEMPT FAILURE.
>PETE HAS EATEN HIS FLASHLIGHT.
>THE SLURPING AND SCREAMS HAVE STOPPED
>PETE IS 46% WOOZY
>PETE HAS 53% SANITY REMAINING
>WARNING IF PETE FALLS BELOW 50% SANITY, CONTROLS MAY NOT OPERATE NORMALLY
>INPUT COMMAND
6 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
BURP LIGHT
6 hours ago · Like · 2
Pete Boisvert
EQUIP REVOLVER
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE WARMS UP TO THE IDEA OF
>BURP LIGHT
>IT HAD BEEN BUILDING UP ANYWAY – SO PETE LETS LOOSE WITH A BELCH OF LUMINESCENCE. TO HIS REVERSE OF DELIGHT, HE SEES THE MASSIVE LEGS OF A GIANT SPIDER.
>THE LIGHT ALERTS THE SPIDER TO PETE’S EXISTENCE
>THE SPIDER APPROACHES
>PETE IS STILL STUCK
>PETE IS 28% WOOZY
>PETE HAS 39% SANITY REMAINING
>PLAY ON ADVENTURER, YOUR QUEST AWAITS!
6 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
SHOOT SPIDER
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE FOCUSES ON
>EQUIP REVOLVER
>THAT’S SILLY. YOU’VE GOT THAT SWEET COPY OF SPYRO EQUIPPED. WHY WOULD YOU NEED A REVOLVER? PLUS YOU CAN’T EQUIP SOMETHING OVER SOMETHING ELSE. YOU’D NEED TO UNEQUIP SOMETHING BEFORE YOU CAN QUIP SOMETHING. PETE MAY BE FAIRLY CRAZY, BUT NOT CRAZY ENOUGH YET TO BREAK THE RULES OF REALITY.
>THE GIANT SPIDER CLOSES IN
>THE GIANT SPIDER LICKS IT’S LIPS, OR LIP ANALOG
>PETE IS NO LONGER WOOZY
>PETE HAS 17% SANITY REMAINING
>WHAT UP, G?
6 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
THROW SPYRO DISK AT SPIDER
6 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
START ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE ESCALATES
>THROW SPYRO DISK AT SPIDER
>WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A TEAR IN HIS EYE, PETE CHUCKS HIS PRIZED POSSESSION AT THE GIANT SPIDER.
>PETE HAS
>-167 DEXTERITY POINTS DUE TO ARM INJURY
>
>CRITICAL FAILURE
>SOMEHOW PETE ACTUALLY THROWS THE DISK BEHIND HIMSELF
>THE SPYRO DISK SHATTERS
>PETE TAKES
>-17 GOOD VIBES
>
>PETE GIVES A GO AT
>START ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>THE WHIRLING OF THE UNIVERSE SOUNDS, AS THE GEARS OF TIME ARE WOUND.
>THERE WAS LITTLE TIME LEFT WHEN PETE WAS ABLE TO HALT THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER. HE WAS FORTUNATE TOO – IF THE COUNTDOWN FINISHED, THE DEVIL WOULD COME TO COLLECT HIS SOUL. HE HAD EFFECTIVELY BEAT THE DEVIL. UNTIL NOW.
>A CLICK OF THE ADVENTROCRONOMETER HAS PASSED
>PETE HAS 3% SANITY REMAINING
>SMOOTH MOVE, EX-LAX
6 hours ago · Like · 1
Pete Boisvert
STOP ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
6 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
TAUNT SPIDER
6 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE HAS ACHIEVED 0% SANITY
>PETE EYE OF THE TIGERS
>STOP ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>REACHING PAST THE GLASS OF THE INTRICATE FOB, EVEN PETE’S NEWFOUND TITANIC STRENGTH CAN NOT UNDO WHAT HAS BEEN REDONE. LAST TIME IT COST THE LIFE OF THREE GOOD MEN TO HALT PETE’S ADVENTROCHRONOMETER, AND HE FEARS IT MAY COST EVEN MORE TO ATTEMPT IT AGAIN.
>”I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THIS EASY, SNOWBALL.” RINGS A FAMILIAR VOICE IN PETE’S HEAD. “I MEAN, I HAD THREE WAREHOUSES WORTH OF DATA TOWARD SEVERAL LONG FORM CONS TO GET YOUR SOUL BACK. AND YOU JUST START THE DAMN THING AGAIN? JUST LIKE THAT? SERIOUSLY. FUCK YOU. YOU’RE NO FUN.” THE DEVIL APPEARS IN A BURP OF FLAME
>”WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?” PETE ASKS AS HE STRUGGLES WITH THE WEB
>”SKIMMING SOULS. WHAT’S IT TO YOU? THESE SAPS ARE STUCK IN PURGATORY AND I USE’EM TO BOOST MY NUMBERS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
>A SPIDER LEG STRIKES PETE ACROSS THE FACE
>
>PETE TAKES
>-23 HP MELE DAMAGE
>
>PETE TURNS TO THE DEVIL, “‘SCUSE ME FOR A SECOND.” HE TURNS BACK TO THE GIANT SPIDER. “I AM TRYING -”
>
>PETE ATTACKS THE GIANT SPIDER
>GIANT SPIDER TAKES
>-247 HP MELE DAMAGE
>
>”TO TALK -”
>
>PETE ATTACKS THE GIANT SPIDER
>GIANT SPIDER TAKES
>-583 HP MELE DAMAGE
>
>”TO SOMBODY!”
>
>>PETE ATTACKS THE GIANT SPIDER
>GIANT SPIDER TAKES
>-19,352 HP MELE DAMAGE
>
>
>GIANT SPIDER IS DEFEATED
>
>PETE GAINS
>+32,000 EXP
>+120 GP
>1 SPIDER SILK SPINNERETTE
>1 VHS OF GILMORE GIRLS EPISODES FROM SEASON 4
>
>PETE LEVEL UP!
>
>PETE GAINS
>+3 SWAG
>-2 SANITY
>+12 BURLINESS
>
>PETE HAS LEARNED
>COMBAT GAMBIT: SHOW RUNNER
>SPECIAL MOVE UNLOCKED: THROW VOICE
>
>”FUCK! I WAS USING THAT!” WHINES THE DEVIL
>CROSS FIRE! YOU’LL GET CAUGHT UP IN THE – CROSSFIRE!!!
>
Pete Boisvert
POKE DEVIL WITH SPINNERETTE
2 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE HAS SOME
>POKE DEVIL WITH SPINNERETTE
>”IS THIS WHAT YOU WERE USEING?” PETE PRODDED AS WELL AS PHYSICALLY PRODDED WITH THE DECEASED GIANT SPIDER’S SPINNERETTE. “HUH? IS IT?” HE CONTINUED, POKING WITH EACH SENTENCE. “YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE SOULS FROM PURGATORY, DIPSHIT! THE BALANCE-”
>”WON’T MUCH MATTER WHEN I FINALY HAVE YOUR SOUL.”
>THIS GAVE PETE PAUSE.
>THE DEVIL CONTINUED, “YOU DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT, SNOWBALL. BEST MAKE THE MOST OF IT.”
>YOU BEEN SERVED
2 hours ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
THROW VOICE
2 hours ago · Like
Douglas MacKrell
>PETE OPENS SPECIAL MOVE MENU
>PETE SELECTS
>THROW VOICE
>
>”WHAT ABOUT MY SOUL” SAYS THE DECEASED GIANT SPIDER CARCAS.
>THE DEVIL LEVELS HIS FOCUS ON WHATS LEFT OF THE GIANT SPIDER. “WHAT? YOU’RE AN AUTOMATON. YOU DON’T HAVE A SOU- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH – YOU GOT ME! SNOWBALL, YOU PLAN ON SPENDING YOUR LAST MOMENTS AS A FREE MAN MAKING ME BELIEVE THAT A DEAD PUPPET WITH A MAGIC SOUL MIGHT MAKE ME HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART OR SOME SHIT? THAT’S SWEET, IN A REALLY STUPID WAY. WHY THE FUCK ARE GOOD GUYS ALWAYS SO FUCKING STUPID?! ANY WAY, YOU HAVE ABOUT 23 SECONDS LEFT. ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO TRY?
>THERE ARE 22 SECONDS LEFT ON PETE’S ADVETROCHRONOMETER
>WELL, BRIGHT EYES?
about an hour ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
USE STICKY TWINEBALL ON ADVETROCHRONOMETER
about an hour ago · Like
Pete Boisvert
REVERSE TIME
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Douglas MacKrell
>3 SECONDS REMAIN ON THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>PETE RIPS OFF HIS
>STICKY TWINE BALL FROM HIS ARM AND USES IT ON HIS ADVENTROCHRONOMETER
>IT IS SAID THAT THE ADVENTROCHRONOMETER WAS FORGED BY THE HANDS OF DAVINCI HIMSELF. IT IS IMBUED WITH THE SPIRITS OF ALL THE ADVENTURERS THAT HAVE CARRIED IT PREVIOUSLY. ALWAYS BRINGING WITH IT A CURSE OF ADVENTURE TO THOSE WHO POSSESS IT.
>EVEN DAVINCI’S SCIENCE COULDN’T ACCOUNT FOR THE STICKINESS OF THE STICKY TWINEBALL
>ADVENTROCHRONOMETER HAS
>STOPPED
>
>
>
>”WHAT?! HOW COULD YOU – YOU CHEATED!!!!” BELOWS THE DEVIL
>”HEH, THAT’S JUST HOW I ROLL.” SAID PETE BODACIOUSLY
>”NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MARK MY WORDS, SNOWBALL. YOU WILL BE MINE SOMEDAY. YOU! WILL! BE! MINE!!!!!!”
>
>THE DEVIL DISAPPEARS IN A BURP OF FLAME
>
>
>WITH THE STINK OF THE DEVIL OFF OF THE MORGUE, THINGS RIGHT THEMSELVES. REALITY SHIFTS, AND TAKES WITH IT THE SPIDER WEBS AND SOULLESS CORPSES. PETE KNEW THAT THE DEVIL WOULD RETURN. HE ALWAYS MADE GOOD ON HIS WORD. THE KEY TO THE HOSPITAL STILL SAFELY IN HIS POCKET, PETE DECIDED TO HEAD TO THE UPPER FLOORS AND HAVE ONE OF THE DOCS CHECK OUT HIS ARM. IT HURTS LIKE A SON OF A BITCH, BUT PETE COULD DEAL WITH A LITTLE HURT. AFTER ALL, HE DEALT WITH THE DEVIL TO BRING Dana Rossi BACK FROM THE DEAD AND WALKED AWAY SCOTT FREE. HE MAY NOT HAVE HAD A CHARMED LIFE, BUT HE SURE AS HELL WAS WILLING TO GIVE EVERYTHING HE HAD – EVEN HIS SANITY – TO BE WITH THE ONES HE LOVED.
>
>
>CONTRASGULATIONS! A WINNER IS YOU!!!
>
>PETE BOISVERT HAS ACHIEVED 73% COMPLETION
>
>
>THIS HAS BEEN
>
>SNOWBALL LUCIDITY
>A PETE BOISVERT ADVENTURE
>WRITTEN BY PETE BOISVERT AND DOUGLAS MACKRELL
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